HOLLYWOOD—Tourists flocking to Hollywood Boulevard for this evening’s Oscars were surprised to find director Tom Hooper, award-winning director of The King’s Speech, shackled to a medieval stockade on Hollywood Boulevard.
The director’s punishment was due to the positive portrayal of Catholic clergy in his most recent film, Les Miserables. Remaining faithful to the French novel by Victor Hugo and its Broadway adaptation, the Catholic bishop whom Jean Valjean encounters in the film is saintly, welcoming, and generous, sparking the conversion on which the entire film is based. For violating its strict Catholicism policy, the Director’s Guild of America sentenced Hooper on Friday to a public flogging and ten hours in the stockade leading up to the Academy Awards.
Taylor Hackford, President of the Director’s Guild, speaking to reporters about the incident.
“We take these kind of violations very seriously,” said Taylor Hackford, president of the Director’s Guild. “Tom knows the rules: whenever you show a priest in a Hollywood picture, he must be depicted as a drunk, a kiddie lover, or otherwise a filthy excuse for a human being. For a priest to be portrayed in a good light, he must be shown taking a heroic stand against his church and what it teaches, coming to the realization that there’s nothing wrong with condoms after all, that sort of thing.”
In its official press release, the Director’s Guild of America stated that since the story required the character to be presented in a positive light, Hooper should have changed the bishop’s role into that of a wise environmentalist, feminist, or Native American.
Hooper has publically apologized for his lack of tolerance and professionalism, and was happy to pose for tourists throughout Sunday afternoon.
The Catholic Onion 
February 25, 2013
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